Confessions of a Hypersensitive, Overactive, Toy-Destroying Border Collie

Regarding my body:

• I do not understand that in the last 9 months I have been with this family, I have gone from a young pup to a full-size adult dog.  I anticipate being able to fit in spaces such as laps, car seats, and through gaps that are still puppy sized.  
• Unlike other dogs, I am built entirely of elbows.  You may not understand this now, but when I flop myself into your body, you will feel each of them in the bony, digging, sharp manner in which elbows are often thrust. 
• Coordinated movements are fined tuned if I am fetching something, chasing something, chewing something, or trying to sneak out of trouble.  I move like a floppy scarecrow if I am walking, getting off the couch, going through doorways, getting in or out of the car, or turning a corner.  

Regarding my behavior:

• Not only do I warn new people that this is MY house when they come in by barking in random directions, I remind them again when they leave four hours later, even if they have spent the majority of that time rubbing my belly and tossing a ball.  
• I am constantly needing to go outside to check on the status of my toys.  All of the balls in the yard must be congregated in the place of my choice.  If they are not, they will be.  
• My feelings get hurt terribly easily by the following words, phrases, or actions: taking away the ball, "dammit", "go lay down", petting the cats in my presence, leaving me behind for any reason, closing the microwave too loud, asking me not to lay on your clean laundry, accidentally getting kicked because I take up two-thirds of the couch, not being able to sit on my human's lap on the freeway, anything that happens in Petsmart other than letting me carry a squeaky tennis ball around the building, "give me that, please, we need to pay for it."
• I spend my entire day herding things like toys, buildings, parked cars, etc.  By the time I come in for the night, I am exhausted.  My bedtime is strictly no later than 10 pm and I am not interested in starting bed time in my human's bed, on the couch, or on the floor.  Bedtime is observed exclusively in my crate.  Which I love.  

Mobile Mugwump

No.  There’s not an “app” for Mobile Mugwump, although I suppose- in theory- you could be reading me from your fandangled smartphone/mobile device of the gods*.  Imagine for a moment, if you will, all the places you could enjoy me from if I went digitally mobile: work (you shouldn’t be reading personal blogs at work!), home (you really shouldn’t ignore that pile of laundry or the beautiful weather to read this child-adult complain), the bathroom (ugh, gross!), waiting in line (ahhhhh, you’re one of those people…).  On second thought, let’s just enjoy this from your computer. 

This Mugwump went mobile, analog style.  I spent an extended Labor Day weekend in Washington DC as the first vacation I have really had since spring of 2008.  I had a lovely time and got to see some of the cool things I hadn’t seen in my previous trips out there (hello Space Shuttle!).  Also of note, there are an abnormally high number of ducks making their summer home in the reflection pool near the Lincoln Memorial. 

Vietnam Memorial

Relief art at the World War II Memorial

Federal ducks are happy ducks.

Stars and Stripes on a windy, hazy DC day.

Memorial Wreaths at World War II Memorial.

Each star represents a member of the military lost in World War II.

I knew the East Coast was kind of different-- they're ducks come in a vertical model as well. 

He's got my vote for 2012.

 

Surprisingly, it looks like a marshmallow.  A giant, atmosphere busting, zero-G marshmallow of exploration.

*  Someone may or may not be terribly jealous that Verizon’s RIDICULOUS plan only lets a loyal, timely bill-paying customer update her phone once every 2 years and has thus been left in the digital dust of cell phone technology.