The Complete Steps of Packing, Mugwump Style

1. Survey the landscape. 
2. Decide there is too much stuff that is not visible.
3. Move all the "hidden stuff" into view.  This means completely emptying all drawers, closets, cupboards, etc. 
4. Resurvey.
5. Marvel at the giant mess you have just made.  This could be your greatest accomplishment yet.
6. Decide to take a picture of the big mess.
7. Spend thirty minutes swearing about your misplaced camera.  Tear through belongings, ruining whatever system of organization once existed.
8. Find a movie you didn't even know you owned.  Put it in! 
9. Pop some popcorn (for your movie of course).
10. Try on ALL clothing to make sure it fits and you like it.  Create 6 new outfits in the process.
11. Get serious about packing.  Put on your game face, pick up you magic marker and your packing tape, and get moving!
12. Text no fewer than six friends to tell them how hard packing sucks. 
13. Spend forty-five minutes carrying on no fewer than four text conversations. 
14. Time for a break!
15. Throw away exactly one magazine and one take out menu. 
16. Start packing clothes and shoes.  Decide that in the next 4 days you will need at LEAST 12 outfits including the following items: blue cocktail dress, sweatpants, patent leather pumps, green tennis shoes, gym shorts, assorted t-shirts, two sweaters, two pairs of sandals, four skirts, and at least 5 bras.  Forget to save some undies, curse yourself in the morning. 
17. Decide that all of the things that were once prized possessions are now all piles of shit.  Have a burst of anger and get "rid" of half your belonging. 
18. While changing laundry, realize that you really do love that stuff and cry as you rescue everything you just tossed (and more!) from the Donate or Toss piles. 
19. Resurvey the landscape.  Things look about the same, save for the elimination of one magazine, one take out menu, and your underpants. 
20. Make a sandwich. 
21. Sharpen an entire box of pencils in case you lose your pencil sharpener in the move. 
22. Take a shower. 
23. Pack exactly seven books and assorted USB cables that do not appear to belong to any of your devices.
24. Look at all 472 tagged photos of yourself on Facebook.
25. Untag some of those.
26. Make your bed. 
27. Pile all the stuff from your floor onto your bed to "make some space to work" on the floor.
28. Read through ALL your saved greeting cards on the floor.
29. Draw a picture, testing all of your markers.  Throw away the bad ones.
30. Read through old class notes.  Affirm that you have not learned anything.
31. Move some piles from one side of the room to the other.  Stack some boxes for a neater, more accomplished ambiance. 
32. Resurvey the landscape.  You're too tired to get all this done.  Shove the pile on the bed onto the floor. 
33. Restart the movie. 
34. Reaffirm to yourself that you will be more motivated to pack... tomorrow. 

Breaking News?

Something I was thinking since the announcement of the death of Yankee's owner George Steinbrenner:

Is someone's death really "breaking news?"  I mean, they're gonna be dead for a long time now... we could really talk about that at any time, right? 

In fact, tomorrow he will still be dead and I bet we will still be talking about it.  Seems like there isn't that much to say: heart attack.  80.  dead.  So maybe we could skip talking about it today?

P.S.

Just checked Google Analytics for my visits:  Thanks Canada for keeping the international dream of Modern Mugwump alive with your solo visit in the last month.  I will refrain from making fun of your lovely country for approximate 3 days.  Unless someone sets up a REALLY good joke that I have to take.  Just sayin'.

By The Numbers, Worst Blogger Ever Edition

Um, I have no excuses for the way in which I have dropped off the face of the blogging planet.  I bet all my old followers are gone; even my parents.  Awesome.  Well, I will catch you up on the last month with everyone's favorite format: By the Numbers!

2: The number of triathlons I have now completed in my lifetime.  #3 (hopefully) happens Aug. 1, 2010 in Duluth, MN.

8: The number of ladies that traveled to the City of Lakes for a fabulous bachelorette party for a very dear college friend*. 

543:  The miles driven (round trip) to be in said college friend's beautiful  wedding.  It is truly a wonderful blessing and honor to be invited to be a member of anyone's wedding party and celebrate their love.  Plus, a free dance party in a fancy dress is ALWAYS on this mugwump's agenda. 

2,763: The number of words cut from my Masters Project to make it a manuscript.  Publishing? Maybe.  Maybe not. But it's a good experience nonetheless. 

10(ish): The number of weeks I have been in my internship at the City of Minneapolis.  Also, the number of weeks I have LOVED my job at the City of Minneapolis.

7:1: The odds I will place a $2 bet on a losing horse at the races. 

19: The number of days left on our lease in Uptown.  The move is bittersweet.  Excited to be moving in with my sister and brother-in-law, but terribly heartbroken to leave the fabulous women I have been living with for the last 14 months.  Although, as one roommate put it, a physical move at this point in our lives is simply a tangible manifestation of the real moves we are all making: moving towards careers and independence.  Forward motion is always positive, even if it occasionally results in the physical departure from things and people we have held very dear. 

1: The number of golden birthdays we each get. 

12: The number of days until my one and only golden birthday.

Bajillion: The amount of fun (on a scale of 1-10) I plan on having that day.**

* So weird to call people "college friends," as if I were really that far from the time I spent in college. 
** Good, clean, safe fun.