Adventures in Unemployment: Day 8-- Seeing the Personal Trainer OR Death by a Tiny Latina in Gym Shorts

So, I belong to Lifetime Fitness and even though I really didn't want to like Lifetime because they are fancy schmancy, the truth is I really like my gym. Like, really really.

One of the great things about Lifetime is that you earn these reward bucks (LTBucks) for being a member for so long, referring a new member, etc. And you can redeem these for various products or services at the gym.  I had recently earned 100 LTBucks and since I have been nearly sedentary since running the marathon, I decided to whip myself back into shape by using my reward to see a personal trainer.

And so today I met a 5'2", 98 pound Latina and she kicked my ass all over the gym. We lifted, and pushed up, and lunged, and lifted again, and then twisted and stepped and on and on and on... ugh. 50 minutes later I hardly had the strength to turn the car key. Her favorite phrases were "Oh yeah, you're gonna be sore," "It's okay if you hate me, but you're gonna look good doin' it," and "Okay, do that whole circuit again."

My favorite part is that we didn't do very many things that were a lot of additional weights.  Some ladies, like myself, are built with shoulders and rib cages that were obviously designed for men. The last thing I want to do is add a bunch of bulky muscle to my linebacker shoulders.  And in case you haven't seen a marathoners thighs before, I can attest that those need no additional bulk either.  

So, of course, I am signed up to see her again next week.  And I am sure it will be 50 more minutes of torture. I am just hoping next week, if I sneeze in the shower, my abs don't seize up in a fit of pain. One can hope. 

Adventures in Unemployment: Days 3 & 4-- Also Known as "How I Am (Kinda) Failing at Being Unemployed"

To be fair, I am not failing at being unemployed, in as much as I am still not going to a job in which I exchange hard work, talent, and the occasional joke for monetary compensation and health insurance.

Let's start with the things I have done right in unemployment:

I do make my bed every day. I do the dishes every day. I have contributed to the cleanliness of my apartment every day. These are mostly symptoms of the fact that I am spending a lot of time in my apartment every day. Spend 14 waking hours in your home and it is easy to spare 40 minutes to make the bed, do the dishes, and sweep the bathroom.

I have also managed to go outside every day, between errands and appointments that have beckoned me to leave the house.  These are little blessings in disguise and really break up my day.

Dance parties every day? That's a given. That's what I do in my normal life, who are we kidding.

Things I have done less right:

I think it is physically impossible to actually sleep for 8 hours a night unless I have the flu. The only way this is likely to happen is if I drug myself, and I think that taking drugs while I hang at home by myself with my cat with no job is not a very good idea. Plus, I can't afford gratuitous drugs.

I have made some progress on looking for work, but 90 minutes is a pretty long time. The goal for the weekend/next week? Research the department of the U that has offered to interview me. Read everything they ever wrote. Brand myself as the perfect  poster child for their work.

I haven't gotten a library card, volunteered, taken a class, or gone to the museum. Perhaps my unemployment list was ambitious? I argue (with) myself, that I still have time. My only hope on the horizon is an interview that happens next Friday. That gives me all week next week. There's time.

Where I really feel like a failure is in the kitchen. I promised to make homemade yogurt, but I don't have a kitchen thermometer or milk. I promised to make bread, but I am daunted/am missing half the dry ingredients necessary.

So, I thought I would start a little simpler. Get 'back on the bike' with some familiar recipes.  I was thinking chocolate chip cookies, but I also bought a cake mix and ready-to-spread frosting.

So, when I went to make chocolate chip cookies, I discovered I had no brown sugar and no baking powder. Pantry fail. But, I wasn't too discouraged because I had that cake mix and I bought some super cute sprinkles. Everyone loves cupcakes with sprinkles.

And guess what? Cupcakes require vegetable oil. Guess what I don't have?

Total kitchen fail.

I managed to make grilled cheese and tomato soup. The cheese was pre-sliced and the soup came from a can. I still burnt the bread when I ignored the sandwich in the pan for too long.

Well, here's hoping I don't starve on Day 5.

Adventures in Unemployment: Day 2- A Day of Freedom!

On Day 2 I had an 8 AM doctor's appointment re: the broken leg in Bloomington.  Obviously scheduled when I thought I would need to go to work right after the appointment. Oh well, this was the perfect thrust into the "showered and functioning" rule.

The Broken Leg Update: The current x-ray showed some "apparent feathering of the bone" which looks like the edge of a feather, but instead of being on the outside of the bone like you might expect, it is feathering into the middle of the bone.*  Really odd looking. Anyhow, the doctor said we are "so lucky" we caught it early. It could have actually fractured much more severely, I guess. To be fair, I didn't really feel all that lucky when I was sobbing in my boyfriend's car on the way to the ER where they punctured my leg with a needle the size of a shower rod. But that's just me.

The good news? No more crutches! Sweet freedom! Now just 4-6 weeks of PT, maybe an MRI since there could be some soft tissue damage (kids, running a marathon is bad for your health. But you should do it anyway). They are going to do a running evaluation in 4 weeks to see if I am ready to run miles mile on the open road treadmill. In the meantime, I can swim and bike in the controlled environment of the gym. Thank goodness, because going from marathon training to not working out at all is brutal. 

Other notable activities from Day 2 include: visiting Grandma for a few hours while she house-sits for my parents, a grocery shopping trip, learning to saute carnival squash, and some red wine. 

Another good day.

*Ha! I Googled 'feathering bone' and found it is common in the legs and hooves of horses. Awesome. 

Adventures in Unemployment: Day 1- The "Gimme" Day

Day 1 of unemployment was supposed to be a "gimme" day-- the one day I allowed myself to wallow and feel sorry for myself, watch TV, hang out in my sweats.

Turns out, that didn't really happen.

I ended up deep cleaning the kitchen and bathroom, filing for unemployment insurance (Reason #2673 paying taxes rocks), researching some jobs to apply for, and some other odds'n'ends around the house.  I was busy.

To be fair, I did watch the entire Today Show, and even attempted to dabble through daytime TV but there is only so much Judge Judy and Maury Povich one person can take.  And for me, that limit is zero.

The funniest thing probably, is that Monday was the only day that the "Rules of Unemployment" were lifted. One of my rules is: Awake, functioning and showered by 8AM. Every day. No matter what.  Well, Monday I finally hit the shower at around 4:45 and during that time someone from the U of M called to offer me a job interview! Can't believe I missed that call... We did end up getting connected and-- brace yourself-- I have a job interview on November 4. Excellent.

Overall, I loved Day 1 of unemployment more than any broke, jobless, 20-something has a right to. It doesn't negate that I am really excited to go back to work soon and contribute to good projects, but my mental health may be improving after a break.

Or maybe it was because I had an entire pot of coffee in the morning...

Adventures in Unemployment

Ha! I said I would blog everyday of unemployment... and here it is, Day 3 and not a peep out of me... ooops. 


This post is a pre-unemployment list of the things I want to do while I am unemployed.  The best advice I got about unemployment was to enjoy the time off, because sometimes we forget to see the blessings in the hardships we face, and to stay busy! Stay busy for your own sanity and stay busy because when I (inevitably, right?) go back to work, I will be remorseful if I wasted the opportunity to do some fun things and get some things accomplished.

So, first I made a list of things I want to do, in general:

1. Make homemade yogurt. 
Thanks to our Iowegian friends for giving me the skinny on how to successfully make my own yogurt.  I am pretty excited to try this out!


2. Homemade bread. 
So many people I know make their own bread, and yet every time I look online for a recipe I get totally daunted.  Also, how do you keep a giant lump of dough away from a very curious cat while it rises? I can just imagine all the floury cat prints... My parents have a breadmaker in their basement. Maybe that will be the route to homemade bread I take.

3. Crochet slippers.
I crocheted one. Not sure how I feel about it. So I made a scarf instead.  Now I have a blister from crocheting. I am not sure how much leverage this little goal is going to get.

4. Open Courseware.
There are a bunch of schools (Yale, MIT, Johns Hopkins, etc.) that offer open courseware.  There is no credit, no classroom, no assignments, no grades.  But you do get to see the lectures and sometimes read the course material online, sort of as if you were taking the class. I totally love to learn and this is right up my alley.

5. Design and order Christmas cards.
Done! And they are darling, I think.

6. Paintings.
I have several requests for paintings-- thanks, friends, for liking my stuff!


7. Free museums.
I love a good museum.  I even sometimes love a mediocre museum.  In the Cities, the Minneapolis Institute of Arts is free every day (yay! art as a public good! love love love), the Walker Art Center is free on Thursday nights, and there are a handful of museums that are free or only like $2 admission.  Love.

Unfortunately, lots of places are only open during business hours and then the weekends are filled with sticky-fingered children and women (poorly) driving strollers into my shins or the backs of my knees. It might be very nice and relaxing to take in a museum on a Tuesday afternoon, you know?


8. Actually sleep 7-10 hours per night.
Who can remember the last time they got that much sleep for, say, 3 days in a row? Other than times I have been sick (in which I slept around 19 hours a day), I don't know that I have gotten a good 8 hour night's sleep in a long time.  I look forward to meeting with you, deep sleep and REM cycle.  I hear you guys are wonderful.

9. Volunteer.
Having just moved to my community, I have been actually wanting to find a volunteer opportunity for a while. Now is the perfect time to put some more effort into finding a place that can use me.

10. Get a library card.
Can you believe I don't have a library card in my county? And I drive by TWO public libraries all the time. Ridiculous.


In addition to some of the bigger things I want to do, I am also trying to take this opportunity to start some good habits. So there is a list of things to do every day.

1. Make the bed.
My dad's cousin always had the best excuse for not making the bed: "It was so comfortable when I got out of bed, why would I want to mess that all up by making it?!"

2. Do all the dishes.
One of my favorite household tasks to neglect. Well, I am sick of running out of forks.

3. Spend no less than 90 minutes doing something that contributes to securing employment.
This isn't vacation, after all.

4. One-woman dance party.
What's better than grooving any way you want, to any music you want? Nothing.

5. Spend no less than 20 minutes contributing to the organization and cleanliness of the house. Sweep, dust, rearrange, whatever.
I love to make a mess and then just leave it. My house is a petri dish of unfinished projects.  Even cleaning projects get halted before they are done.  Just ask my why my vacuum has been in the dining room for 2 days.

6. Go outside.
I love my apartment, I really do, but if I don't go outside I will go crazy. Even if I just hobble down the street and back in, I am going outside every day.

Okay everyone, wish me luck. Luck that this is not a very long stretch of unemployment and luck that I survive it with all my mental faculties in tact.

Heated Seats: A Primer

Pack up your swimsuits. Roll up the beach towels.  Lose the sunscreen behind the seat of the car.  It's about to be winter. Or, at the very least, we are well-seated in a chilled, blustery fall.*

The one feature of the new car that I can find is the heated seat dial.  Heated seats?! Heated seats, friends. The dial seems pretty self-explanatory.  It has numbers from 0 to 5, 0 presumably (and correctly) being no heat. And then each number is a little warmer than the one before, until you get to 5, which in my world seems that it would be bliss.  The warmer, the better. 

It is not so.

The dial is quite misleading.  Today I tested it out, and I have assessed what each number really stands for:

0: No heat. Great for the summer.**
1: Still not really any heat. Wouldn't thaw a rump roast.
2: Things are getting good. Lightly toasted buns. Perfect.
3: Oooh, that's hot. Hot hot, actually. Uh, I don't really like this.  Too hot.
4: Oh dear god, BURNING! Too hot! Turn it off! Turn it off!!
5: [Right, you think after my experience at level 4 I turned it up to level 5?! Who do you think I am?]

If you love your butt, you will oscillate between a 2 and 3. Never higher.



* I have loved the word blustery forever.  From the Winnie the Pooh film Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day. One of the best children's movies ever.
** Ask me about the time I accidentally turned on heated seats in the summer and thought I was dying of meningitis.

Stuck in the Slow Lane

Last week, I upgraded automobiles.  Gone is the 1999 Saturn, affectionately known as the Plastik Vunderkar (let me someday tell you about selling cars on Craigslist. Holy cow). In is a 2004 Jetta, the Green Machine.

Having a car that runs a bit better like an actual car and not like a Barbie corvette Matchbox car made me think I would soon be experiencing the wide open spaces of the crowded city avenues like this:

After all, this car was built for the autobahn!

However, this new-to-me car has a lot more bells and whistles.  More accurately: things most modern drivers think everyone has, but in fact, everyone did not. For example: a sun roof, power locks with the little hand held remote so I can "meep meep" my car from 20 feet away, power windows, an automatic transmission.  In addition to the new things, I am still working on finding all the standard things.  It took me 3 minutes to figure out how to turn the lights on.  We had a light drizzle here the other day and I had my windshield wipers on "Hyperspeed Go-Go-Gadget NO RAINDROPS EVER" mode because I could not get them to slow down. A check engine light came on for an issue not even remotely related to the engine.  Yesterday I accidently hit the panic button in my pocket while walking crutching loudly away from the car, scaring the dickens right out of a handful of delightful senior ladies out for a walk. 

Today, the whole drive in to work, the "door ajar" light was illuminated, and I figured this was just like the check engine light. So it says the door is ajar, I thought, but I can see that no doors are, in fact, ajar.  What else could it be? Is it because there is condensation on the back window? I'll turn on the defroster.  Wait. How do I do that? Oh, here. Good.  Nope, some non-door is still not ajar.  Hmmm. 

After a string of button mashing operations that included opening and closing the windows and sunroof, unlocking and relocking all the doors, turning on the hazards and then turning them off, it dawned on me.  Yesterday, when I hit the panic button, I probably also hit the trunk release button!

When I got to the parking lot, that truth was confirmed. Luckily, the trunk requires some strength to actually open even once the latch has been released, so I wasn't that idiot who drove all the way to work with their trunk all gaping.

Still, I have downgraded my expectations of the new-car-driving experience.  Not because the car isn't great, but because it is likely smarter than me. This is a more accurate visual representation of my life on the autobahn:

It Tolls for Thee

Sorry that every post is about the marathon... that's probably getting old for you, right? But I just keep processing things and I forgot to tell you about probably my favorite part of the race:

The marathon starts near the Metrodome in Downtown Minneapolis and cuts through the heart of a skyscraper district before turning down Hennepin towards the Chain of Lakes and South Minneapolis.  At the very edge of Downtown is a big, beautiful basilica.  The Basilica of Saint Mary, to be precise. 



As we head through downtown, the air is cold, the pack of runners nearly silent as the anticipation and silliness of the start wears off and we begin to truly consider the monumental task ahead of us. The only sound is the gentle tap tap tap tap tap of running shoes on pavement and the muffled sound of motivational playlists in runners' ears.

Approaching the basilica, between Miles 1 and 2, the air fills with a beautiful noise-- the church bells! The bells are ringing for the runners! The congregation-- what must have been hundreds of people-- are standing on the beautiful stone steps praying and waving out to the crowd of marathoners. 

I am not religious in the "capital R" sense, but that moment filled me with a certain faith, and a faith in what I think religion should be about-- supporting our community, supporting all mankind in every earnest endeavor. Being hopeful for one another, friend and stranger alike. It was emotional then; it's emotional now.

It also reminded me of a poem I once heard at an event to raise awareness about bullying and teen suicide last year.  The poem, For Whom The Bell Tolls (No Man is an Island) by John Donne, beautifully reminds me how connected we all are.

No man is an island,

Entire of itself.

Each is a piece of the continent,

A part of the main.

If a clod be washed away by the sea,

Europe is the less.

As well as if a promontory were.

As well as if a manor of thine own

Or of thine friend's were.

Each man's death diminishes me,

For I am involved in mankind.

Therefore, send not to know

For whom the bell tolls,

It tolls for thee.

Why Run a Marathon

The number one question people ask is "Why would you want to run a marathon?"

And there isn't an easy answer. Or maybe, more appropriately, it's that there isn't just one answer.

Because it's there. And I can. Rules are meant to be broken; challenges are meant to be met and overcome. I ran it because it's there and it's scary and it's hard to do. And because something greater than my feet and my legs and my cardiovascular system-- something else in me-- said "I can."

Because 100 voices in my lifetime said "you can't" and 101 voices said "you can." We often forget how influential our words can be, or how an individual might carry each phrase or lesson with them for a long time. Sometimes, we spend the most time listened to our own voice telling us we can't do something because we won't be the best at it.

But I was absolutely blessed to grow up with a family that encouraged all of my craziest ideas. A big sister that was not embarrassed to tell me she was proud of me. A mom who, by example, taught her daughters to be strong women, to be leaders, to stand up for themselves and for what is right, to have strong voices. A dad who never waivered in his pride in his girls, who encouraged sportsmanship and leadership, who continues to be one of the best examples of citizenship in my life, and who reminds me often to never take life or myself too seriously. And I can't forget an extended family that, while small in size, is filled to the brim with support and well-wishes for every endeavor and a hearty helping of 'we-knew-you-could's after each success.

Because I can control the outcome. One of the greatest lessons I have learned in my young adult life, post-graduate school, is that there are a lot of things that happen to me and around me (or without me) that I cannot control. Talk about frustrating. Ever since the days of returning from a friend's house crying, stomping around because 'they wouldn't play the way I wanted!' I have desired to set the rules. And none too democratically, in most cases.

Turns out, at 25 years old, there are fewer and fewer situations where you can take all your toys and go home (a phrase my family still uses today!). Having an often unsteady and uncertain job situation, losing people who I love and carry an important part of my history, and experiencing first-hand how unfair a tornado in a community in crisis feels, I spent many weeks in the last year feeling caught up in a chaos where I did not and could not set the rules.

So I took all my toys... and went to the gym. And I set the training schedule and nutrition rules. And I said "No, I have to run tonight." And I didn't let anything confuse the final goal or knock me (too far) off course. And at the end of even the most awful days, I controlled the distance, the tempo, the playlist. I owned the successes and I owned the failures along the way. And thus, on October 2, 2011, I owned the ultimate success. I owned that finish.

Because I said I would. Call it stubborn. Call it tenacious. Call it foolish. No matter the name, I said I would run a marathon, and dammit, I ran a marathon. And you know what? I bet I can do anything.


That's why I ran a marathon.

Q: What's Less Fun Than Running a Marathon?

A: Going to the Emergency Room because of it.

No worries, though friends. Turns out to just be a fracture.  There was some concern it could be Compartment Syndrome, a 'limb and life threatening injury,' but it's just your run-of-the-mill stress fracture.  

If any medical professional tells you they are going to do a 'striker' test for compartment syndrome, put your big girl/boy panties on. That's a doozy. 

The First 24 Hours

There is a more insightful blog post about completing my first marathon a-brewin'. But considering my current physical and mental state, you get this instead.


If you follow me on Facebook and Twitter, you have seen a gazillion posts on the same topic.  But if you don't (you should)...

I finished my first marathon yesterday! 


You should do a victory dance for me, because I can hardly move.

Why can I hardly move, you ask?
1. Two blisters the size of house cats and 3 more the size of grapefruits.
2. All the skin on my feet is inexplicably peeling off.
3. General muscle soreness from my belly-button down as well as entirely up my spine.
4. A suspected stress fracture. Or heinous heinous shin splints. To be physician confirmed tomorrow.

Here are my observations from the first 24 hours, post-marathon:

1. I am STARVING but preparing food feels like so much work that I lose interest.  And, once I do finally make something, I can eat about 4 ounces of food at a time and then I am stuffed. For example, I only ate 3 spoonfuls of Ben & Jerry's Cookie Dough ice cream before putting it back. 3 spoonfuls?! Unheard of.

2. Waking up every 2 hours throughout the night to stretch and walk is annoying, but probably not as annoying as being frozen in my bed would have been.

3. I don't think I will ever feel hydrated again. Ever.

4. Blister-specific Band-Aids are all entirely too small. Dear Johnson + Johnson, the blister has at least doubled the size of my toe. Please make an appropriate bandage. xoxo, Katie


5. The size of a Target store grows exponentially in relation to the amount of pain you are in.

6. IcyHot (and I have complained about this before): not even remotely icy enough to soothe the pain, too damn hot to relax anything. Too. Damn.  Hot.

7. Also, on the topic of IcyHot, my whole house smells like it. Every single surface. It's like a mix of old people and toothpaste. Yuck.

8. I thought this day would be ultra-nice and relaxing, and it has been to a point. But it has also been like being at home sick, except I feel well enough to do things, but I can't really physically do them due to the aforementioned menagerie of maladies.

9. The internet is a limited place. And there is only so much you can do before you get bored. However, the one thing that never gets boring? Watching this: http://www.mtecresults.com/runner/videoResults?rid=27125&race=507

Click that link. Click it. Click it click it click it click it. Click. IT. So cool.

10. One last complaint: Ice packs take a LIFETIME to get frozen in the freezer... but about 20 minutes to get warm on my leg.  One human could not possibly own an adequate number.

On a more serious note, thanks to my family and friends who supported me at the race, through a Facebook post, an email, a Tweet, or a in text.  You. Are. Awesome! Lotsa lotsa love to you!